how do you solve a problem like….Maria?

Ok, I’ve got something to say.

Roofing sucks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know it may seem like I dropped off the face of this earth. You wouldn’t be wrong. But believe me I wasn’t having a grand ole time. I wasn’t on vacation, and I wasn’t caught up in an 80’s movie marathon. I was doing the following:

1) Cleaning up an entire roof that my husband removed and shoved to the ground. Because of this the following also happened:

a) I needed to pull rusty nails from my flip flops. Yep, flip flops. Judge me.

b) My body was coated in what I like to call “an exfoliating granual.” This coating literally needed to be scrubbed off on a nightly basis, especially when SPF 50 acted as an unintended adhesive.

c) Nights passed with no dinner. This never happens to me. I’m always the person who wonders how people can forget to eat. Apparently I’m a hypocrite.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Onto another topic…

2) It was discovered that our roof base was inadequate and required a lot of reinforcement in order to actually hold people. Meaning these reinforcements needed to be completed before any roofing could actually commence. Twiddle thumbs now.

3) The paint man at Home Depot sold me indoor paint when I specifically said I needed outdoor paint….twice. Then we proceeded to paint all facial boards with indoor paint before we noticed. I blame Eleanor. She must have distracted him with her cuteness.

4) We had to rent nail guns because we nail things here, we don’t staple them. For the duration of time we had them we could have bought them. Good times.

5) My sweet angel dog (not the pug) bite my uncle three times.

6) During all of this I also worked a summer camp….for small ungrateful children. The following can be assumed based on this camp experience:

a) Risk is a horribly inappropriate game and no one should play it.

b) Sponge Bob Square Pants is kind of like Jesus. Everyone shuts up and listens to him.

c) Kids lose things….constantly….and then blame it on everyone around them.

d) Cake and Cocoa Puffs are not a suitable dinner.

e) Younger children hate to walk in the sun. Nay, younger children hate to walk.

 

7) I haven’t had a day off since June 3rd. My next day off will be June 23rd.

8) I had to change my e-mail password because somehow it got hacked….and I was too busy to notice. I had to be informed by my wedding photographer on Facebook.

 
someecards.com - I'm glad we're back in touch ever since I was spammed by your hacked email account.

Ok, enough. The point has been made.

Here are some positives from the past few weeks:

1) No one fell off the roof.

2) Children didn’t Vanish at summer camp like on Beth Holloway’s show.

3) I didn’t get sunburn (the same can’t be said for others).

 

I’m ready for some relaxation time. Soon we’ll be off to Vegas where I plan to drink lots of Sonic, eat lots of Jason’s Deli, and generally sweat my worries away.

Roofs and Risk,

Swan

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One thought on “how do you solve a problem like….Maria?

  1. artsifrtsy says:

    I feel for you. They guys who did my roof had this really cool gadget – like a push mower with a giant magnet instead of a blade. Run it around the house a few times and no more nails 🙂 Also, interior paint outside is not nearly as bad as exterior inside.

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